fluff and humor

Inspired by a post on Tumblr, this is a AU story set during Harry's sixth year at Hogwarts, with one big, foul-mouthed difference. Instead of Horace Slughorn, the position of Potions professor will be taken on by...Gordon Ramsay.

Harry Potter, the forgotten twin brother of Boy-Who-Lived, was beaten to death by his abusive Muggle relatives. But his Magic disagreed with dying so early, so it dug deep into his soul and brought out something that will help him survive. Who will take him from his destined cruel Fate? Tom Marvolo Riddle, AKA Lord Voldemort has fallen into the deepest voids because of his addiction to Dark Arts. So when his Prophesied equal and mortal enemy, who happens to be the keeper of his soul piece, comes to his aid and offers him another chance by helping him recover from the insanity, hence filling out the void that has been created by cruel merciless fate, what he will do? Can he refuse the little green-eyed chaos maker who declared himself as his son in everything but blood? James "Jim" Potter, Boy-Who-Lived, and the Wizarding World's child celebrity. But it's not a life he wants for himself. There is something else he wants with all his heart, something that he would exchange all his fame and glory for in a beat. What is it that he desires the most in the World? * Previously known as The Dark Prince: Rebirth*All characters belong to JK Rowling. Tags may change as the story progresses.

*Previously called — Crimson Sloth* Faced with an opportunity to enjoy a slice of the slackers life and to improve his weak plate, Cale accepts an invitation of travel from a world called Seaborne. Once there, however, he is not expecting to live the life of a pirate. He’s not exactly unprepared for it though. After all this is Cale 'Looting Your Enemies is Best' Henituse. He was not, however, prepared to enter this new world as an infant. He should've known better than to trust the word of Gods. Or, Cale ends up traveling to the universe of One Piece. Placed in a the body of an infant, he is taken in and raised by the future captain of the Red-Haired Pirates. *Please note the RAISED part. Cale will be a child for the first 60-70k words.*

“Like, you know, wouldn’t it be funny if we pretended to date and like… Acted all mushy and over the top to show Taehyung and Namjoon how gross they are?” “That -” Yoongi cuts off, head tilting to the side. “I guess that would be funny.” He pauses. “We should do it.” And this is not at all what Jungkook expected. He’s not entirely sure if Yoongi is joking or not. “I - are you serious?” He expected Yoongi to object, to tell him he’s being ridiculous, or laugh it off. It’s a crazy idea, it doesn’t even make sense. But Yoongi isn’t staring at him like he’s crazy. “Sure.” Yoongi shrugs. “I mean, this is the stupidest fucking idea I’ve ever heard.” “Hey!” Yoongi grins. “But what could go wrong?” -OR- United by their mutual disgust for their grossly in love roommates, Jungkook and Yoongi decide to pretend to date to give them a taste of their own medicine. And that should be fine, no big deal, probably just a funny story to tell later… Right?

Max truly hates Formula One race weekends. Running his own coffee shop isn’t going to make him rich any time soon, but it is enough for the quiet life he so desperately wanted when he ran away from home at fourteen without ever looking back. Unfortunately, not even his wonderful friends who were willing to jump onto a sinking ship just to keep Max company as he drowned changed the fact that his week was going to be hell. or: in a world where max has tried his very damn best to leave the world of formula one in the past, it comes stumbling back into his life one thursday in august and reels him back in.

For years, Taehyung has been doing just fine. He doesn’t hold his breath anytime his boss gets too close. Doesn’t feel his heart skip every time he steps into a room. He’s most certainly not in love with him. Absolutely not. For years, Taehyung has been able to suppress this ‘slight affinity’ that he has for Jeon Jeongguk, because his boss isn’t into men, and he certainly isn’t into Taehyung. He’s long accepted his fate—a master at hiding his feelings. Until someone sets him up with someone he wasn’t expecting on the one night he’s decided to forget, and then it all comes crashing down on him. OR: The office romance tale of two oblivious men.

“When we kiss—“ “Hold up,” Hao frowns. “‘When’? Why would we kiss?” Hanbin blinks. “Because couples kiss all the time? Wouldn’t it be suspicious for Taerae to never see us kiss?” By the heavens, the kid’s got a point. Smart boy. “Okay, sure. If—” “When.” “—we kiss, we should probably save it as a last resort. Like, a make it or break it type of situation where Taerae and Matthew are really suspicious of us.” For some reason, Hanbin doesn’t seem too pleased by that idea, his mouth puckered in a sad little pout. Why he would be sad though, is beyond Hao. “What was your question?” Hao prompts, tempted to reach over and smooth the furrow of Hanbin’s knit brow with his fingers. Like magic, Hanbin perks up and his eyes glitter with the glory of a sky full of stars. “Can I use tongue?” Or, Hao lies to his best friend that he has a boyfriend. Thankfully Sung Hanbin is more than happy to go along with the charade, but why are his eyes so damn sparkly, why is he so warm all the time, and why does he keep asking if they can kiss with tongue?

Dazai and Chuuya have been secretly married since 18. Now, in honor of the truce between their organizations, they make a big show out of messing with their colleagues while subtly, or not-so-subtly, revealing their relationship. Also: They're disgustingly in love. Or:3 times Soukoku had the time of their lives messing with their co-workers and the one time they finally told them they were married.

With his battle against the Black Organization in a stalemate and his relationship with Ran deteriorating, Conan seeks escapism by attending a Kaitou KID heist. He’s not sure how to feel when he later finds the thief injured and shrunken. In which Kaito gets shrunk, so he has to pose as Conan’s twin brother to protect his identity. ---(commenter reviews)--- "Err, Let’s hope Ran doesn’t come to the conclusion of twincest… 😳"- chapter 10 "why is it so depressing bro"- chapter 11 "giving kudos because i heard about the cousins reveal. not a detective conan fan though 😭"- chapter 12 "Aww poor babies 💔 make them suffer more please 🥺"- chapter 16

Shen Yuan managed to have an easey life with Luo Binghe. Until a little problem makes them close the Demon Kingdom to humans due to a little brat who decided to control demons, ghosts and zombies. Wei Wuxian just wants to kill all the Wens. And Xie Lian is happy wandering the world and colleting things.

Mash woke up with bunny ears and a tail, which he isn't bothered about, but let me be honest, everyone is starting to get a little too touchy around him.

“Charlie’s cheating on me.” “He’s not cheating on you.” “He is!” OR Babe thinks Charlie is cheating on him. Turns out Charlie just decided to pick up a hobby.

His teammates duck and dive across the ice, but the captain’s eyes never leave Satoru’s. There’s an expression in them he can’t quite read, something like sizing him up, but Satoru doesn’t feel like prey. He feels like he’s standing on the starting line. ∼ Inspired by some truly beautiful fanart of Geto as a hockey player, featured and credited in the notes of the first chapter!

Tara flew to his shoulder and gazed down with him, taking in the scene.“Do you see it?” he whispered. “What…”“I see it.” She rubbed her cheek against his, her tail curling around his hunched shoulders.“What does it mean?”“It means hope, Gale. It means something real.” --- Gale is a divination wizard, but a mere shadow of his former glory. Aoife is an Oath of the Ancients paladin, haunted by the grief of her past. After a fateful meeting a year ago Aoife's path crosses the Wizard of Waterdeep's once more. But as they are drawn together Gale's misfortune with the orb and Aoife's long-held sorrow aren't the only dark shadows cast upon them by the past. And soon their fates become as entangled as the threads of the Weave. This is a retelling of the main game narrative along with a *lot* of new plot. Now revised and extended!

He never would have thought that stupidly standing up to Max so he wouldn’t start a fight with Charles’ teammate would lead to the omega being asked on a date by his childhood crush.

Post-war setting, roughly five years after the war. Hermione Granger has not become minister of magic, but rather a single Mom who struggles in dating life and faces prejudices from old bigots in the magical world. Severus Snape is still stuck at Hogwarts, being tortured either by his colleagues or his students and for the love of Merlin cannot flirt to save his life.Together they get dumped into a mess of feelings, threats and of course a sprinkle of trauma... Just stick along with me on this one, I will try to update weekly :)Also tags will be updated on the go!

“Would you like anything else?” “Actually, yeah.” He flashes you a grin that only promises trouble, pushing his sunglasses down with a way too exaggerated flirty expression. “Can I get your number too?” “Haha, really funny Gojo. Now, I have more clients so...” But he's already getting his phone out, as if he hasn't listened to a single word you've said. “...Oh, you're for real.” ~ ~ ~ ~Reader owns a small cafe with their own baked goods. Gojo comes in one day, and absolutely falls in love with their pastries (and with them).

After a funny accident that led Lucifer to know of future events before Charlie called for his help to get into Heaven, he must make the choice of continuing the story as it is or pursuing through a different path all together. Oh, and Alastor sucks! Yeah, he should tone down with all those angel pickup lines.

"You sold your fucking soul for candy?!" Vox snapped. Of all the idiotic shit he'd heard during his many decades down here, that definitely topped the list. "Yeah, you want some?" You offered sweetly, shaking the container of jelly beans invitingly. He stared at you in utter bewilderment and wondered how the hell had his life gotten so out of control that he was stuck hiding from angels on extermination day in a shitty freezer with a bona fide bimbo?

Satoru and Yuuji have lived together for some time now, hiding from the world that the boy is still alive. They train, Satoru works, Yuuji does chores and cooks... Hm. Let's make it more interesting, shall we? Satoru remembered that Yuuji likes to gamble and... He came up with a great punishment for losing the bet! Or: How Yuuji became Gojou Satoru’s wife for one entire day, and how it came back to bite the man.

“Yeah, but you’re entirely predictable. I mean, you’re a rich boy who’s good at sports and climbs the social ladder like it’s nothing. No way you like nerd stuff. You’re destined to be a douchebag, Harrington. The Munson Doctrine never lies.” As he speaks, Eddie can see Steve’s frown get deeper and his eyes get darker until he turns his head away and takes a shaky drag of the joint. He lets it out, still shaky, and seems to be gathering himself. Eddie is starting to brace for a punch or kick or something violent when Steve says, “You’re just as bad, then.” “What?” Steve takes another drag, his shoulders relaxing, and he looks at Eddie. “You’re no better, Munson. As much as you’d like to think otherwise, you’re also predictable. I mean, you’re a guy who feels like an outcast so he embraces the role and doesn’t bother to think he could ever be wrong about someone he’s never actually talked to before. Seems like you’re destined to be a douchebag, too.” For the first time in a long time, Eddie is speechless.

!Spoilers for the game up until chapter 5! The path ahead has to be carved out with occasional violence, but whenever there is a possibility of saving a life, Tav will not hesitate to spare or alter the course of action to save it. When the devil declines a new deal, she is forced to face off against him. But she cannot forgive herself for banishing Raphael back to Cania, where his abusive father is very keen to remind him just how pathetic of an insect he is. The realization of having her life saved by Raphael strengthens her resolve and she ventures to the Eighth layer of Hells. Soon after, Raphael finds himself banished from Hells and bound to a mortal. It is essentially a character study of my favorite bastard from Baldur's Gate 3, while shedding light onto his more mortal side - the one he so desperately tries to reject. It is my headcanon mixed with canon stuff. Enjoy!

Once the lecture was over, Xie Lian stood up abruptly, a sudden urge to talk to the youth blossoming inside him. He descended the stairs quickly, mindful not to bump into anyone, and waited near the door for the youth to appear. When Xie Lian noticed the youth's face among the others, his heart quickened once again. He opened his mouth to speak, but no sounds emerged, a sudden and strange feeling filling his body, warmth spreading over his cheeks as he gazed at the youth's face from such a close distance. Xie Lian found himself unable to utter a word, mesmerized by the youth's beauty. All the courage Xie Lian had gathered within dispersed in that moment. His hands reached for his heart, clutching the soft fabric of his white pullover, his eyes following the youth as he left the lecture hall, never once glancing in Xie Lian’s direction. What was this unfamiliar feeling stirring inside Xie Lian? -Or: Modern College AU with Xie Lian and Hua Cheng as students. Or v2: Xie Lian's clumsiness leads to many opportunities to cross paths with the man who stole his heart.