asexual alastor (hazbin hotel)

“I like you, Al!” You do? “You’re a nice guy!” And you’re quite the idiot apparently! “Join my crew!” “ …Excuse me?” “Join my crew!” the Monkey repeated, as though Alastor’s befuddlement came from lack of hearing rather than lack of total comprehension, “Even though I’m dead I’m still a pirate, so I still need a crew!” Not liking the idea of Heaven due to it having rules, the now deceased Straw Hat Luffy decides to jump down into Hell to have his next adventure. While the Radio Demon usually enjoyed his fair share of entertainment, he may find himself with a bit too much to chew on this time. But perhaps he’ll find something worth more than mere entertainment for the trouble.

“Did it hurt, Your Majesty?” “Excuse me?” “Did it hurt?” Alastor repeats, leaning closer with a leer. “Did what hurt?” Lucifer replies, thoroughly perplexed. He tries to remember if he’d done anything that might be considered painful, recently. Alastor’s grin turns mean—sinister, even, as his voice crackles with static. “Why, when you fell from Heaven, of course!” — Alastor gets cocky about harassing Lucifer, flies a little too close to the sun, and they both learn some things about themselves.

“Dad?” It’s kind of crazy how a singular three letter word can make you stop dead in your tracks. King of hell he might be, but the careful and frightened voice of his daughter will never fail to freeze him. Sure, it could be considered a bit of a coward move, but he can't convince himself to care. There are situations where being afraid to move your body even a fraction is justifiable. Like this one, for example. “What-“ Charlie takes a brief pause as she properly inspects the situation in front of her, “Is Alastor on top of you?”

It’d been a long time since Lucifer shared a bed with someone. Technically, he didn’t even need to sleep and neither did any other sinner demons here. It was the lingering dregs of their humanity that made them think they did and most of them never bothered to give it up and why not? They had all of eternity to work on it and anyway, what else did they have to do?

Alastor can't stand men like Valentino, so he decides to make a deal.

Alastor was tired. He’d been pushing himself a lot recently. He’s been running himself thin for a long time trying to keep up with the king of Hell. Lucifer was continuously trying to outdo him at every turn and it had Alastor working double time to try to stay one step ahead of him. When your opponent just so happens to be the most powerful being in hell, however, you find out quickly that you aren’t going to be able to stay one step ahead of him forever.

A little twist on the last episode, delving into the unused opportunity for Alastor angst. Plus what I'd imagine would happen afterwards. aka Alastor is injured after the battle with Adam, and turns out wounds from angelic weapons take much longer to heal than expected. Not to mention how difficult it is for him to process just how badly this deal he made has weakened him. (I suck as summaries...)

After a funny accident that led Lucifer to know of future events before Charlie called for his help to get into Heaven, he must make the choice of continuing the story as it is or pursuing through a different path all together. Oh, and Alastor sucks! Yeah, he should tone down with all those angel pickup lines.