Alastor/Lucifer Magne

It's a late and Lucifer can't sleep. He heads downstairs for a nightcap and finds more than he expects. AKA Alastor likes to cook in the middle of the night and these two can't go two minutes without throwing hands.

“Dad?” It’s kind of crazy how a singular three letter word can make you stop dead in your tracks. King of hell he might be, but the careful and frightened voice of his daughter will never fail to freeze him. Sure, it could be considered a bit of a coward move, but he can't convince himself to care. There are situations where being afraid to move your body even a fraction is justifiable. Like this one, for example. “What-“ Charlie takes a brief pause as she properly inspects the situation in front of her, “Is Alastor on top of you?”

Alastor expected the mighty King of Hell to be as fearsome and grand as the stories he’s heard. Or: Lucifer is small and Alastor wants to throw him around.

Lucifer could never stand Alastor’s attitude; but when the Radio Demon shows up at the palace, nearly dead, on extermination day, he decides that maybe he isn’t so bad after all. or;When Alastor arrives in Lucifer’s workroom, on death’s doorstep, the conversation that ensues paves the way for a romance they never expected. Together, they put together pieces of information that reveal a nefarious scheme that poses a direct threat to Hell and makes the hotel ground zero for a new, even worse conflict.

Many sinners will tell you just how frightening the King of Hell truly is. From the way he holds himself up in battle to the way he loves his daughter and wife. That's what the public said, anyway. He had to make Charlie happy. He had to, there was no other way about it. She was in fact his everything. He couldn't risk losing her again. Even if risking revealing the worst parts of himself to an unexpected, annoying, self-centered, certain Overlord.

Alternate title: The five poisons Lucifer is immune to and the one that he isn't AKA: Alastor tries to depose his competition and Lucifer is a good sport and maybe the real poison is the friends we made along the way.

Lucifer KNOWS he shouldn't trust a word that Alastor says. And yet, Lucifer agrees to lay down for him anyway.

Would he have been okay with Lucifer staying? Did he want him to stay? Did he want Lucifer to climb back into his bed and kiss him again in a way that was entirely, undeniably and unapologetically sexual? …Maybe. ~|~ I finally finished it! 6500 fuckin words of disgustingly fluffy (and yet also kinky) porn about two tired dads figuring their shit out together. MIND THE TAGS, y’all. Al’s a damn cannibal, don’t be fuckin surprised that I added blood play. <3 ~kisses ALSO a special thanks the lovely @Ntrashdemon on X for letting me scream at them about this fic while I was writing it <3

Lucifer’s tongue caught the razor-sharp tip of Alastor’s tooth and golden blood spilled. Instead of wiping it away, Lucifer stared directly into Alastor’s eyes and leaned back in to lick the taste of his angelic blood into Alastor’s mouth. Sequel to "Guilty Pleasures" but can be read as a stand alone fic.

The battle is over, the hotel is being rebuilt, and everything is coming up roses, as much as anything can grow in Hell. There's just one thing that's taking up entirely too much of Lucifer's thoughts. One thing or one person, and it's one hell of a distraction, no pun intended. Lucifer was supposed to be working on rebuilding and Alastor was supposed to be sleeping. So far, neither of them are doing what they should be, no surprise, there, was it? Neither of them have ever been very good at doing what they've been told. (spoilers for finale)

Lucifer appears as alastor is about to tune out of his podcast, things get hot and alastor leaves his microphone on tramautizing Charlie.

“Why the fuck do you have a pink silly straw?” Alastor is unrepentant as he says, “It matches your vest.” “That’s not what I meant! Why the straw?!” “Oh! That’s even easier to explain! Lessens the mess. Rosie suggested it.” “I’m not a juice box!”

Alone in his room, Lucifer wants to deal with his lustful needs in peace -- but a certain Radio Demon keeps showing up in his fantasies. Or: Lucifer can't stop thinking about Alastor while getting himself off.

Alastor thought Lucifer was hardly bearable with the few interactions they had. But now that Lucifer decided to stay the hotel Alastor finds himself in quite the predicament on what he should do. Should he completely avoid Lucifer the whole time?Should he provoke the ever living shit out of him and face the consequences?Or should he find a way to become the one in control when he’s around the king of hell?

Prompt made by turtleofthehallow on tumblr! “ I need someone to write fanfiction of Lucifer and Alastor making a deal, but Luci botches the wording of the deal so bad that they end up married instead, and neither of them know how to break the deal, so they're just stuck like this until further notice “ -- Alastor And Lucifer Tried to make a deal, a deal where Alastor Stays Away from the kings daughter, but Lucifer being the Clumsy Man he is, botched up the agreement. Now Alastor and Lucifer are Officially married and there's havoc everywhere Lucifer Doesnt know how to deal With. Being Alastor, he torments the man to a point that makes him burst how will they deal with this Accedential Consort ?

Saw the episode 5 leaks, decided to make a fanfiction off it! including— jealous lucifer, parent figure alastor, tension!!!, embarrassed alastor and lucifer :3

After a funny accident that led Lucifer to know of future events before Charlie called for his help to get into Heaven, he must make the choice of continuing the story as it is or pursuing through a different path all together. Oh, and Alastor sucks! Yeah, he should tone down with all those angel pickup lines.

alastor hates lucifer and lucifer hates alastor. of course they have to fuck.