crack

“Three weeks,” Derek says. “Still don’t want to,” Stiles says. “I’ll pay you,” Derek says, and that… that has Stiles interested. Alf’s Antique’s may be a great job, but it’s not a high-paying job, and half of Stiles’s tuition is coming from financial aid, so… “How much,” Stiles asks, “are we talking here? Because I know your family, dude. And it’ll be kind of awkward after.“ “My family thinks you’re some sort of fucking gift to the world,” Derek seethes, like he’s jealous, “they’ll probably be pissed at me when we break it off, so don’t worry about that. Five hundred bucks.” “A thousand,” Stiles says, because screw ethics. Also, the Hale family is loaded. Derek can deal.

Midoriya’s quirk isn’t what anyone is expecting. That's not to say it’s bad, quite the opposite, it’s just that things are put in a different perspective when you regularly die. Midoriya still dreams of becoming a hero, and when he does- well no one was expecting this. Aizawa needs a vacation. All Might doesn’t know how to handle his suicidal successor.Bakugou is the only student that isn’t absolutely terrified of this cheerful yet surprisingly deadly hero in training. And Midoriya? Well, he’s a little bitch with no regard for personal safety, and someone decided to give him an enhanced strength quirk on top of it. AKA Midoriya has an immortality quirk and no one knows how to handle it, including Midoriya himself. Might as well fake it till he makes it. What’s the worst that can happen?

In one galaxy, the novel was never read. In another, it starts a landslide. Or what happens when the Mandalorians learn that the Jedi are exactly what most of them look for in a partner.

John is Sherlock's internet boyfriend - from CANADA. No one thinks he's real.

This summer was the breaking point for Harry Potter. On top of the verbal and physical abuse he went through, he now has to compete in a competition he did not sign up for. Harry's 'friends' have abandoned him, his teachers not believing him and is left to fend for himself. Harry sneaks down to the Chamber of Secrets to release tension and panic in private but ends up discovering Slytherin's Personal Library.Armed with magic, shielded by a Horcrux he discovers inside himself, Harry vows to no longer become victim to manipulation. In doing so, Harry breaks the hold that was on his magic, discovers his creature inheritance and maybe ends up saving the world with his so thought enemy.

Taehyung sets the flowers down on the dining table, plucking the card off the little holder. "Dearest Taehyung, just wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you. I hope you're thinking about me too. Love--" he pauses and squints before cocking an eyebrow and pursing his lips. "Hyung, why is the boss of your little boy band gang professing his love for me?" Yoongi drops the noodles on the floor with a loud curse as he burns his hand. Or, Taehyung's been trying his hardest to avoid Yoongi's criminal life for a long ass time, but a cute kid and his infuriating father keep pulling him deeper into the mix.

Tommy and Dream are trapped in a time loop.What do they do? Mess with everyone else, of course. русский translation by kuwwizz here!

One summer day, he sees Voldemort on his neighbor's roof. And it all came crashing down. Armed with a stabbed diary that oddly brings him comfort and a ring that feels important, Harry is ill-equipped for the summer ahead. On his neighbour’s roof, staring directly at him, was Voldemort. It would be comical if it wasn’t for the struggling muggle teen in his grasp. Mockingly, Voldemort held up a scrap of parchment. ‘Surrender yourself, or the muggle perishes.’ Harry ducked away from the glass and got his writing supplies out. He held the parchment to the wall as he wrote, with a quill this time. ‘I don’t negotiate with terrorists. I’m going back to bed.’ He wiggled it into the corner and left the sight of the window. There was a strangled scream he tried to block out. In bed, he piled his blanket over his ears. Bottom of the line, he needed sleep. And who was he to intervene? Every damned time he did, the person ended up dead or injured. Cedric, Sirius, and countless other friends had suffered under his supervision. Harry was done playing saviour.

Who knew that getting Isekai'd into Genshin Impact would get you into many situations that you've never thought you'd get yourself into! Whether the situation is life-threatening or just one of those soft and fluffy moments, you don't think you'd want to leave the game any time soon! And it seems like they don't want you to leave any time soon either! So, you might as well enjoy your stay while you're at it! [This work contains various one-shots with the various Genshin men]

When Harry starts to have certain urges, the people around him are happy to accommodate his desires while conveniently fulfilling their own.

Kakashi wakes up in an alternate dimension .....shenanigans ensue

Midoriya needs a new outlet for his hero research and accidentally creates a viral YouTube channel. Or: Midoriya makes some new friends, learns to fight, and gets into UA and amasses an army of fans that protect him.

Where Class 1-A finds itself in a time loop centered around their first year at UA. After getting over the usual angst, they decide that the best way to grow as heroes is by antagonizing dangerous villains for fun and amusement.

#thosetwofirefighters starts to gather a following on social media, as everyone tries to figure out if those two cute firefighters from the 118 in LA are a thing or not.

Izuku is coming home from middle school one day when he meets a certain blood crazed girl crying in an alley. After he helps her, Toga askes if she could be his pet. Discord Link: https://discord.gg/rsaKaVpjZp

Orochimaru didn't know what hit him when he offered his cup of ramen to a dirty sunshine haired kid he encountered on his way home to Konoha.

If someone had told Stiles back in high school that he would be an Oscar winning actor by the time he turned 25, he would’ve probably told Scott to punch them. The thing is, though…they would’ve been right. Which makes returning to Beacon Hills, center of all that is supernatural and better left avoided, all the more awkward.

At four years old, Harry decides that he would like to be a snake when he grows up. A story following Harry as he wills himself to become more and more serpentine - to the discomfort, bafflement, and horror of everyone around him.

"Well, looks like we're all Sith Lords, now. I hope you've all been practicing your most menacing laughter for our first run in with the Jedi Council." Ben could only sigh and raise a distasteful eyebrow at the cross shaped, red lightsaber he was given. Down the line other students were also handling their new weapons and robes with a raised eyebrow here and quizzical expression there. "Really, uncle?" "Really. I don't want to compete with the local Jedi population." Why did Jedi politics and time travel have to be so difficult?

“Scared Potter?” Malfoy sneered, and Harry snapped. He was done, finished, fed up with playing the innocent little Gryffindor with no common sense and a microscopic amount of intelligence. He rolled his eyes. “Why yes Malfoy, I’m terrified, can’t you see me quaking in my boots? You, a second year child armed with a stick is the scariest thing I’ve ever seen. Please, please don’t fatally injure me in front of three hundred witnesses and two teachers with your mean words and nasty smiles. Whatever shall I do?” The entire hall fell silent and Malfoy gaped. Harry smirked. Lockhart looked entirely bemused, and he thought Snape might be holding back a laugh. Harry spent his first year hiding his intelligence and playing the role of the Boy Who Lived. However Lockhart and Malfoys' combined presence finally causes him to snap, and chaos ensues from there.

One month after @hawks_unofficial's initial viral post, the blog titled "Quirk Analysis Blog for the Future", otherwise known as "Q. A. B.", has gone from an average of 10 views per post to an average of 20,000 views per post. Midoriya Izuku does not know how to view the impressions analysis for his suddenly popular blog, and only notices that sometimes, people actually comment on his posts now. He does not google himself or his moniker and thus does not see the rise in online articles and speculation. He is unaware that the "kyuu-ei-bee" he begins to hear about in passing refers to his own blog. He does not have a Twitter account. At the time, Midoriya Izuku is 15 years old. Izuku (accidentally) starts a cult.

Will reflects on his new life as one half of a pair of Murder Husbands. Podfic available hereTranslations into Chinese available here and hereFan video available here

One typical, ordinary morning, the entirety of the cultivation world awaken in a strange room resembling that of the Burial Mounds. Wei Wuxian, as usual, is the prime suspect for their mysterious appearance. Although... "Shijie...?" "A-Xian!" "Wei Ying!" "Wei Wuxian!" What entity transported them into that strange room, and for what purpose? And someone PLEASE explain to Jiang Wanyin why Wen Ruohan is having the time of his life right now..!! And most importantly, why are both Wei Wuxian's past AND thoughts being broadcasted to everyone? And why, for the last time, are all of the supposedly-dead people (including the bad guys) alive again? (Or: The characters of Mo Dao Zu Shi watch Mo Dao Zu Shi) Russian Translation Spanish Translation

Summary: Bruce has a conference call with Wayne Enterprises. Having it at the Manor was, in hindsight, a really shitty idea. “I don’t have your phone!” The two boys began trading hits, yelling at the top of their lungs. Bruce turned back to the webcam just as Damian leapt on top of Tim’s back, a high-pitched battle cry torn from his lips. “Mr. Hodges,” he said cheerfully, unflinching as Tim threw Damian into the wet bar sink. “Have you had a chance to examine the chart I pointed out?” Inspired by this viral video and Batwayneman’s post on tumblr.

Maria Campbell remembers an old life. A life bathed in blood. A fishing hamlet. A research hall of many floors and many patients. And a stranger who insisted on corpse-fishing...AKA, that fic where a grimdark DLC boss is reincarnated in fluffy otome-land and still acts like she's in a FromSoftware game (that's NOT Cookies & Cream)...

Shen Yuan wakes up in the middle of nowhere as a sword due to a system error. What the hell is he supposed to do with himself now? No knowledge of ‘I was reincarnated as a sword’ required to read.

Y/n goes to Father Steve to confess her sins and seek forgiveness, he grants it to her with a special healing tool

CLOSED AGAIN! SORRY Have you ever wanted to read about a pairing doing whatever you wanted? Well this is the story for you! I'll write whatever you want, with any pairing! (See rules) If you are looking for a specific pairing, try clicking “Entire Work” and then use your web browser’s “Find on Page” tool and search the desired character’s name. I didn’t initially think I would have this many chapters (and these chapters are targeted towards the person who requests them), so I apologize for not making it easier to navigate!

Venti has added 14 people to the conversationVenti has changed the conversation title to people that fuck kids or smt lol idkVenti: your english essay or ur lifeDiluc: my lifeDiluc: release me from this prison we call livingJean: do...you need to talk?Kaeya: don’t worry, he’s being edgyVenti: please guys im actually gonna fail Or: Its another Modern AU Chatfic, but everyone hates each other.Most random update schedule you haven't seen. This is 100% chatfic, despite the wordcount I'm sane I promisePlease note that this Fic began in Version 1.2: a lot of information/humor may be outdated. Please bear with me on the earlier chapters(I promise it’s like fine wine: it gets better)Discontinued as of 7/21/23, Fandom fallout got to me

some people think the avengers are just a bunch of gay, meme-loving fucks. they're right.

PJ: i almost suplexed your child TS: what????? PJ: i was in the garage. he was in the garage. I was unaware of who he was TS: did you punch him? TS: i swear to god -- YES i needed to make a gc fic to soothe my soul. do not question me.

“At the time it made the most sense that All Might was your father. But now, given your multiple quirks—” “I just-it’s still just one quirk! My quirk is just weird!” Izuku protested weakly. No one seemed to acknowledge it. “—given your multiple quirks, in combination to your relationship with All Might,” Todoroki continued, monotone, mercilessly objective, as Kaminari watched on in increasingly wide-eyed delight, “it makes more sense for his enemy from Kamino to be your father. The one with a lot of quirks.” Todoroki posits a new theory on Izuku's parentage. It's all in good fun, until it isn't. Then it's the custody battle of the century.

In which Derek and Stiles are college roommates, and everyone saw this coming before they did. “How do you even get up there?” Scott asks skeptically. Loft beds are tricky enough on their own, he doesn’t know what possessed Derek and Stiles to push theirs together. Why would anybody try to create a king-sized loft bed in a teensy tiny dorm room?

After her world was destroyed by her battle against her brother, the Aegis decided to gather up what she could of her world and head for another, where hopefully, she and her fellow blades could live in peace. Izuku Midoriya, after the worst day of his life, ends up seeing a meteor shower and finds something that will change his life forever. Now has a Tropes Page!

Lance has a boyfriend. Lance does not realize he has a boyfriend. Keith, understandably, does not react well.