crack treated seriously

After All Might gives Izuku a much needed reality check, he has to find a new dream. When he learns that the support course at UA offers an emphasis in Intelligence and Analytics, it sounds like the perfect new passion for him to throw himself into.Who knew? Maybe Hero Analysis for the Future was never meant for his future as a hero, but for his future helping heroes... This fic has a discord.

The world keeps pushing him, demanding, because what he did wasn't enough. Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, but that wasn't enough, wasn't ever enough. Tony Stark was tired. But he had a planet to protect, even if everyone laughed at him whenever the prospect of alien invasions was brought up. He could count on one hand how many people he could trust, which was disheartening but then, what else was new? Or, In which Tony does not, in fact, intend to take over the world. ...unfortunately, everyone else missed that particular memo. [gradual divergence from canon, starting at the end of Iron Man 3. In which it's Tony's self-awareness, rather than his support system, that becomes a cryptid sometime during Phase II.]

(Yes the title is from sofia the first, yes I'm laughing at it, I find it funny-) In which Phil has created the Antarctic Empire from the ground up and takes in Techno and Wilbur along the way, and raises them while also ruling his kingdom. Tommy, sixteen, lives with Tubbo in an orphanage, the two of them running around in the cold streets of their town. After a hectic day of getting separated from Tubbo, getting into a few fights, and ending up in an entirely new town, he comes across Phil, and saves him from an assassination attempt by smashing a plate over someone's head. So then both Techno and Wilbur decide to see who this kid is, and Tommy sure is endearing, in the way that the first time they spy on him, he starts a fight in an alleyway over a bag of cookies. (and then Tommy basically gets kidnapped into the royal family, but like, legally, y’know?)

If Quirkless discrimination was a little bit worse, and if Izuku wasn't as forgiving... Well. (Featuring: All Might's Absolutely Horrible Teaching™, a slightly more self-aware Izuku, the League Of Villains, very little forgiveness, and a lot of traumatized kids.)

In one galaxy, the novel was never read. In another, it starts a landslide. Or what happens when the Mandalorians learn that the Jedi are exactly what most of them look for in a partner.

The tattered memory of Tom Riddle sat on the porch of number four Privet Drive, pressing desperately into the horcrux housed in Harry Potter’s forehead. or In which Harry Potter is unceremoniously thrust back in time and forced to deal with Voldemort whining inside his head. At least Death had the decency to apologize.

Nightwing has to bite back a laugh. “Gotham is a no-fly zone for more than just the JL, Supes. But, from what Blud knows, chances are that whatever you’ve heard is probably true.” Superman pales, which is anything but unexpected. Pretty much all of Gotham tends to be horrifying to Outsiders, as Nightwing is well aware. The question here is which rumors Superman decided were concerning enough to actually look into, the answer to which could be literally anything from the pollution levels to the regularity of the city-wide Fear Gas attacks. Or something entirely outside of the usual spectrum of Things That Outsiders Need To Stop Freaking Out About, Nightwing discovers when Superman blurts, “But the Waynes aren’t actually possessed, right?” …Ah. Well, crap. Or, in Gotham, it’s been common knowledge since the very beginning that the Waynes are unwitting hosts to the parasitic Bats, who protect Gotham and its people from threats both internal and external in turn. There’s nothing anyone can do about it, even if they wanted to. (That’s… not actually what’s happening, but nobody needs to know that. The Batfam is too committed to the bit to pull out now.)

“I like you, Al!” You do? “You’re a nice guy!” And you’re quite the idiot apparently! “Join my crew!” “ …Excuse me?” “Join my crew!” the Monkey repeated, as though Alastor’s befuddlement came from lack of hearing rather than lack of total comprehension, “Even though I’m dead I’m still a pirate, so I still need a crew!” Not liking the idea of Heaven due to it having rules, the now deceased Straw Hat Luffy decides to jump down into Hell to have his next adventure. While the Radio Demon usually enjoyed his fair share of entertainment, he may find himself with a bit too much to chew on this time. But perhaps he’ll find something worth more than mere entertainment for the trouble.

“Dad?” It’s kind of crazy how a singular three letter word can make you stop dead in your tracks. King of hell he might be, but the careful and frightened voice of his daughter will never fail to freeze him. Sure, it could be considered a bit of a coward move, but he can't convince himself to care. There are situations where being afraid to move your body even a fraction is justifiable. Like this one, for example. “What-“ Charlie takes a brief pause as she properly inspects the situation in front of her, “Is Alastor on top of you?”

5 times a League member heard Batman use slang + 1 time they knew where the fuck he got it from. (*note, I tried to filter most of the AAVE out to not be disrespectful, it's been pointed out to me that I have not been successful on that front, my apologies, please be aware of that when reading!)

*Previously called — Crimson Sloth* Faced with an opportunity to enjoy a slice of the slackers life and to improve his weak plate, Cale accepts an invitation of travel from a world called Seaborne. Once there, however, he is not expecting to live the life of a pirate. He’s not exactly unprepared for it though. After all this is Cale 'Looting Your Enemies is Best' Henituse. He was not, however, prepared to enter this new world as an infant. He should've known better than to trust the word of Gods. Or, Cale ends up traveling to the universe of One Piece. Placed in a the body of an infant, he is taken in and raised by the future captain of the Red-Haired Pirates. *Please note the RAISED part. Cale will be a child for the first 60-70k words.*

Athena’s eyes flash and glow, and she raises her hands. Annabeth closes her eyes, and everything in the air sizzles to a stop. There is a faint sea breeze, and then a familiar presence at her side. “It would be unwise of you to hurt her.” She opens her eyes to her boyfriend’s dad standing behind her, his eyes intent on her mother, who looks like she’s about to blow her top. Annabeth doesn’t breathe, doesn’t look away from Athena, but she takes several quick steps back to stand at Poseidon’s side. It’s not conscious; it’s a move based purely on self-preservation. Still, Annabeth is aware that every step she takes into the sea increases her mother’s ire and decreases the likelihood that Annabeth will ever be forgiven. - aka: Poseidon wants Percy to ascend. He'd like it even better if Percy chose to ascend. And if the best reason to become a god is for love, it doesn't take Poseidon long to realize that he doesn't have to look any further than Annabeth Chase. Meanwhile, while Annabeth is balancing PTSD, protecting Percy, and being a good daughter of a goddess who doesn't seem to care, she now has to figure out why she is on Poseidon's radar.

Luffy gasps delightedly, head wiping around to stare up at Whitebeard with wide, excited eyes. “Ace tried to kill you too?!” he shouts. Behind him, the party doesn’t necessarily stop so much as pause, focusing in on the growing spectacle before them. Oblivious, Luffy continues on. “How long?” Whitebeard looks down at the young pirate captain that’s practically vibrating in place. Then he looks to the blond revolutionary that is also staring up at him, gaze considering and keen. Then to his second division commander who now has his face in his hands, ears red where they poke out of his hair. Finally, he glances at the rest of his children, out of loop and confused, yet intrigued, nonetheless.......Or, Ace dies (of embarrassment), Sabo is the dramatic middle child, Luffy is having a blast, and everyone else is just along for the ride.-OR, The family reunion fic that Oda was too much of a coward to give us.

Nightwing is late to a meeting due to an exploding building. Batman goes to check him over, licking his thumb to clean his face. As Nightwing complains about it, they learn that no one realized that Batman is his dad.

Saturday nights in the ER were, from Alex’s humble point of view, the worst. When the rest of the week tended to be incredibly busy still —as emergency rooms always were, Saturday nights brought a whole new level of insanity Alex had yet to get used to. — In which Alex's shift in the ER turns out to be more interesting than previously planned when a certain patient is admitted in quite a... peculiar situation.

Tsunayoshi Midoriya knew he was a disappointment, a failure of a son and a stain on his father's life. But he didn't think he was such a failure that his dad would send a hitman after him! And what's all of this 'tutor' business!? Well, if nothing else, maybe being held at gunpoint will improve his grades.

On the day Aemond lost an eye, he was but thirteen namedays old, whilst his darling nephew was merely ten, yet there was blood on that sweet boy's hands. Rather than allowing such a thing to go unpunished, both Blacks and Greens suffer a lose that unites them. Whilst Criston Cole is banished from the crownlands for the entirety of his life and stripped of his titles, Lucerys is banished from King's Landing and Dragonstone until the king seems him worthy to return. Eight years later, Corlys returns with the prodigal son in tow. No one expected for Lucerys to grow into such a violent thing and neither did they expect for him to follow in his mother's footsteps and claim a Hightower as his best friend. But eight years is long. With war in his veins and blood staining his hands, Lucerys has changed. For better or for worse, Aemond does not know.

”I... I don’t get it, Sukuna.” He then leaned away just a bit more and used his sleeve to wipe away the few stray tears. Sukuna smirked, showing a sliver of his teeth. ”What, how I did it? Frankly speaking, brat, I don’t think you would understand even if I explained it.” When in doubt; act vaguely mean. Just don’t overdo it. ”Heh, I probably wouldn’t, yeah.” The teen once again turned to look at Sukuna’s face. The weird intensity of his stare honestly freaked the curse out a bit, though of course only on the inside. ”But no, what I don’t get is,” Yuji paused for a moment, almost as if thinking of not saying what he planned on saying. Then, his face grew determined, and he began again. "What I don’t get is why you pretend to be evil.” Sukuna’s smirk faded completely as he froze, for but a fraction of a second, thinking What? Or; Sukuna does something undeniably kind. Yuji goes looking for answers.

On especially cold or stormy days, when Izuku's bones burn and ache from years of horrific injuries, he uses Fa-Jin to heat himself up. It may not be as strong as it once was when the Vestiges were still with him, but it's in a perfect sweetspot to both be used as a combat quirk and as a personal heater. The only unfortunate thing is that a lot of the Hero Course girls also see him as a personal heater.

In order to take all of Granta's holdings for himself, Tor draws on Telosian tradition and marries Granta off to the corpse of someone in his House. This someone is Tarre Vizsla, the last Mand'alor of House Vizsla and Jedi Master of great renown. There's a reason the Jedi usually burn their dead. It's a shame the Tor didn't realize that before he stuck Tarre on a remote moon alongside a Force Blank with a habit of making the Force go just a little....odd sometimes.

Lois Lane knows her husband wants his ears pierced. This poses some challenges given that her husband is Superman. Then she realizes, her sort-of stepson (brother-in-law? Unclear) has all kinds of piercings, and who does he know well enough to let near him with a kryptonite needle? Tim Drake, that’s who.

Hermione realizes Harry is a horcrux in the Forest of Dean. Harry decides to mock Voldemort about it, and somehow things get better for everyone from there.*******************A valentine's day story written for CloverWoodss who wanted a fic of Voldemort sending Harry a dick pic.

On the first day of university Nakahara Chuuya catches a strange boy who falls down the stairs. From that moment on he is whipped. The only problem is Dazai Osamu never looks up from his goddamn books long enough for Chuuya to get his attention!! (I wanted to write simp chuuya and bookworm Dazai) (Guys i thought i wrote the summary already 😭 it took 3 chapters before i realised i forgot it lol)

In which a curse takes Sanji’s dick away. Turns out he minds less than you’d think. Zoro, on the other hand, minds quite a bit, but in a very specific, very horny way.

The Mist has been gone for almost a full year, and the attitudes of mortals are ... just as you would expect it. a story told through social media - or - The Mist has mysteriously disappeared, leaving the world of Greek mythology exposed to the world. Join the demigods in 2024 as they balance living their lives with the pressure from scared/confused mortals and the U.S. government.

Yuji thought he knew Sukuna. He heard plenty of stories from others, experienced his cruelty in person, and had enough evidence to call him a monster.But.Something in Sukuna’s behavior shifted after he almost killed Yuji, and it left the boy puzzled. Why is Sukuna so confusing? Why does he act like he cares? And most important, why does Yuji like this side of Sukuna? Is it just his omega’s instincts speaking? Also, why did no one know he was an omega in the first place?! What do you mean he needs to pretend he's an alpha? Or: Yuji is trying to understand why Sukuna is treating him so special and slowly falls for the King of Curses in the process. He also realizes he was a victim in Sukuna's small plot to hide his real secondary gender, and now they have to face some unexpected consequences.

Husk and Angel have been getting along like a house on fire recently, spending more and more of their time around each other. Alastor is aware he's not especially... open to change, but he thinks he deals spectacularly well with this new development. (he does not)

Listen, Jisung’s a curious guy. He’s got a natural desire to take online quizzes and find out all possible aspects of his personality. So he clicks it. Just for fun! Jisung is secure in his sexuality; he’s not expecting to find out he’s gay through some stupid online quiz. or, Jisung takes one of those online "Am I Gay?" quizzes. Minho helps him figure it out.

Shen Yuan managed to have an easey life with Luo Binghe. Until a little problem makes them close the Demon Kingdom to humans due to a little brat who decided to control demons, ghosts and zombies. Wei Wuxian just wants to kill all the Wens. And Xie Lian is happy wandering the world and colleting things.

The dying light catches the hair on Buck’s stomach, glinting where it smatters across the firm, broad planes of his belly—Eddie resolutely does not pay heed to his monkey brain’s kneejerk response of bite—crowding thick and snaking down into the waistband of his shorts. Eddie’s not going to pass out, he’s going to die. “Eds,” Buck grins, catching sight of him. “Ready to get your ass handed to you?” He scoops up the basketball resting on the bench, letting it twirl effortlessly on a fingertip. Eddie is not going to pass out or die, God doesn’t love him enough for either of those things, Eddie is going to chub into the world’s least concealable boner in these baggy-ass shorts that won’t hide shit and then he’s going to have to ask Chim’s friends to mercy-kill him. or, buck's good at basketball, eddie's trying really hard not to commit an act of public indecency about it, and maybe, just maybe, a slightly bloody beachside pick-up game can be the start of something new

There's a man with slicked back pink hair that could've passed off as an older Yuuji and with the Curse User's Technique, it could've been. But– "Kill them, Sukuna!" The man– the King of Curses, albeit from a different dimension, blinks out of his daze to glare, not at them, thank god, but at the idiot who was just now realizing his mistake. "Ha? How stupid are you to have the audacity in ordering me to kill my little brother and his brats?" His what now. OR: Canon JJK meets Big Bro SIkuna and has no idea how to deal with the face of an enemy being so nice.

Yuuji is finally back in Tokyo Jujutsu High, after living with Satoru-san for two months. It's harder to get used to it than he expected, especially since everyone except for him had enough time to get to know each other better. And he kinda misses his cozy life with the man. Yuuji tries to take advice from Panda-senpai on how to get closer to others and loses the bet. Now, as a punishment, he has to hug every person he sees in a day. Or: Yuuji's hugs are addictive, and all the victims would gladly take another dose.

“First of all,” Chan sighs, the bags under his eyes revealing how exhausted he is, “I’m glad none of you are injured.” “I have a bruise on my shin,” Jeongin chirps, just to be helpful. He immediately regrets it when he sees the overflowing worry on Jisung’s face and the way Hyunjin looks like he’s about to have a stroke. “It doesn’t hurt. I’m fine,” He immediately amends. “You,” Changbin seems torn between praising Jeongin or scolding him, “Roundhouse kicked him in the crotch.” He accusingly points to wide-eyed Felix next, “And you swung him around like you were playing helicopter and he was the skipping rope.” Changbin flits his eyes to Seungmin, sees the smile of no regrets, and weakly buries his face in his hands, “I don’t even want to think about what you did.” Minho winces, scrolling through his phone, “We’re viral. We’re so, so viral.” (Or, BokSeungAh, and their tendency to be badass when the hyungs aren’t there to stop them.)

After a funny accident that led Lucifer to know of future events before Charlie called for his help to get into Heaven, he must make the choice of continuing the story as it is or pursuing through a different path all together. Oh, and Alastor sucks! Yeah, he should tone down with all those angel pickup lines.

Waking up a few thousand years after your death to find a hero school built on your grave isn't the most fun experience. That, Izuku Midoriya can definitely say with confidence. He knew he died. He had to have, after all, his head was still severed from his neck. But the fact that scared him the most now was how he was back. And it took all of his strength not to constantly be seeing himself as a monster.