humor

In a world where dominance of the sea is an endless battle between pirates and mariners, Park Jimin is content living in his little village on a small, uninteresting island by the eastern mainland. He wants nothing to do with the bloodshed of good and evil, the heartless killing of both innocents and condemned, the constant establishment and disruption of order. What he wants is peace, to live his life in the same town he was born in, to spend his days in the beautiful forest, and to use the powers of his Blessed Rune to nurture the home he loves so dearly. But when his island is attacked by pirates, Jimin will have no other choice than to do as they command and leave all thoughts of peace behind in favor of boarding the Agust, a pirate ship captained by the infamous Min Yoongi, Black Fox of the East. Note: information about sequels available in epilogue author's notes.

“Three weeks,” Derek says. “Still don’t want to,” Stiles says. “I’ll pay you,” Derek says, and that… that has Stiles interested. Alf’s Antique’s may be a great job, but it’s not a high-paying job, and half of Stiles’s tuition is coming from financial aid, so… “How much,” Stiles asks, “are we talking here? Because I know your family, dude. And it’ll be kind of awkward after.“ “My family thinks you’re some sort of fucking gift to the world,” Derek seethes, like he’s jealous, “they’ll probably be pissed at me when we break it off, so don’t worry about that. Five hundred bucks.” “A thousand,” Stiles says, because screw ethics. Also, the Hale family is loaded. Derek can deal.

Hermione convinces Draco to spy for the Order and she becomes his handler. But what are his true motivations? Hard to say when he's still figuring that out himself. WINNER: 2022 Top Dramione Fics on Reddit4th Place Wartime2nd Place BAMF!Hermione .............................................................. Draco cut her off. “You may have my wand, but you're not in control of the flow of information here. It’s not your life on the line.” Granger bristled at his assertion. “My life is on the line every day.” “So. Is. Mine.” He growled back. “Give me my fucking wand and don’t be so bloody obvious when you contact me.” She narrowed her eyes. “I already told you I'd be more careful next time.” She better be. “One more thing.” “What, Malfoy?” she snapped, still angry she hadn’t gotten the information she wanted. He pointed his finger at her so she would understand how important this was. “You need to learn Occlumency. If you’re captured, I’m dead.” She stared back in defiance. “We both are.” He couldn’t argue with that. She tossed his wand to the floor and Disapparated with a crack.

In one galaxy, the novel was never read. In another, it starts a landslide. Or what happens when the Mandalorians learn that the Jedi are exactly what most of them look for in a partner.

“What is it you win again?” “You.” “What?” “If you win I’ll give you money for a taxi so you can get back to the dorms, but if I win, I own you.” Or: a seemingly innocent game of Go Fish evolved into something neither one of them had ever expected.Love was just a four letter word until they gave it life.

What are dependents left to do when betrayed by those they trusted most, but to find a way to become masters in their own right. Set after Department of Mysteries fiasco in Order of the Phoenix. Translation into French available here: https: // www.fanfiction.net /s / 11803029 / 1 / Emancipation The silvergreenroyalty (Wattpad) or thesnarrysarchivist (AO3) have translated "Emancipation" into Spanish. If you are interested, check it out here. Translation into Brazilian Portuguese available here: https: // www.wattpad.com /story/ 303310486-emancipation-tradu%C3%A7%C3%A3o

Nightwing has to bite back a laugh. “Gotham is a no-fly zone for more than just the JL, Supes. But, from what Blud knows, chances are that whatever you’ve heard is probably true.” Superman pales, which is anything but unexpected. Pretty much all of Gotham tends to be horrifying to Outsiders, as Nightwing is well aware. The question here is which rumors Superman decided were concerning enough to actually look into, the answer to which could be literally anything from the pollution levels to the regularity of the city-wide Fear Gas attacks. Or something entirely outside of the usual spectrum of Things That Outsiders Need To Stop Freaking Out About, Nightwing discovers when Superman blurts, “But the Waynes aren’t actually possessed, right?” …Ah. Well, crap. Or, in Gotham, it’s been common knowledge since the very beginning that the Waynes are unwitting hosts to the parasitic Bats, who protect Gotham and its people from threats both internal and external in turn. There’s nothing anyone can do about it, even if they wanted to. (That’s… not actually what’s happening, but nobody needs to know that. The Batfam is too committed to the bit to pull out now.)

Roy (5:59pm): JAYRoy (5:59pm): DID YOU SEND A THREAT TO THE WATCHTOWERRoy (6:00pm): ????? The reply came just a minute later, Roy sparing one glance to the chatting Justice League before looking back down. Jay (6:01pm): NahJay (6:01pm): Was I supposed to?Jay (6:02pm): Also, that’s not a dinner dish. Try again, Ed Sheeran Or: How Wally West, Roy Harper, and Kon-El Kent remembered that not everyone just knows the Batfam. Or or: Three times the Justice League needed Batman but conveniently couldn’t get a hold of him. Good thing he has trained bat associates! Wait, what? And the one time they realised it was a whole family.

Science was always a comfort to Kara. It was a reminder of Krypton. Of her people, culture, and family. She focused her attention on studying it when she first arrived on Earth for that reason. Then the years passed, Kara learned how to hide her differences, become more human, and that focus was lost. At least until Snapper reassigned her to cover the science and technology beat at The Tribune.

Harry poses for a naked Auror calendar and Draco goes batshit crazy with lust.

Deadpool's back in town and Peter seems to be the only one keeping an eye on him.

When Dean and Castiel reunite at the bunker, Cas has a nasty case of pneumonia and Dean takes care of him. (Slight AU set early season 9 in which "Ezekiel" healed Sam without possessing him)

It’s the summer after high school graduation, and Lance, Hunk, and Pidge are spending three months together in Pidge’s sleepy California hometown, Rosewood, before they all go their separate ways in life. It’s supposed to be fun and relaxing, filled with long days at the beach and even longer nights playing video games; a last hurrah with Lance’s best friends. But when one of Pidge’s ridiculous cryptid searches leads the trio to a mysterious pair of vampires in the woods and the web of magic and murder that they’re entangled in, the summer gets a lot more complicated…and more dangerous than they could’ve imagined.

Eren is forced to a blind date. He didn't look forward to the awkwardness that was sure to follow when he had to break it to his date that he had to leave. He had played the whole scene in his head many times to get it right. He would be able to do this just as he had rehearsed. Sit down, tell them you are sorry to cut it short and walk out. Simple plan. But as it turned out, nothing is as simple as it first seems..

When Spock chose Starfleet over the Vulcan Science Academy, he had not anticipated cohabiting with the most illogical, irrational, emotional human he ever met. On the flip side, Jim never asked for a Vulcan chaperone, especially one as snotty as Spock, son of Sarek. A Starfleet Academy AU in which Spock adapts to human life, Jim learns very, very quickly never to play a prank on a Vulcan, and there are far too many people after Jim Kirk's life.

It started with a bath. Or a potions accident. Or maybe it started before that, but who can tell anymore. Featuring: Uncomfortable wanking, more comfortable wanking, mutual wanking, bath sharing, inappropriate betting, secret shagging, those secrets at Hogwarts that everyone knows, and oblivious Harry who knows one thing: he's falling in love.

Loki comes down from Asgard with a request from his and Thor's children: they want to come and visit their father. Naturally, Thor agrees. This is all well and good, except for the fact that Thor never mentioned having a wife and kids.

COMPETED WORK, NO MORE FORTHCOMING For a series of asks on my Tumblr that started with: What if the Uchiha clan weren't know for their skills in battle? Their eyes would make them the best at jutsu creation, so what if they where know as a clan of nerds? They gain a reputation for being geniuses able to make a dozen A-rank jutsus on the spot, but they are more likely to trip and fall flat on their face then actually be able to attack you with the jutsu they just made up. They still pull a 'coup' that consists of them dumping the police on the rest of the ninja and taking over R&D.

Kim Namjoon can't cook, but he somehow becomes obsessed with a cooking blog called 'EatJin' and the sassy and mysterious person behind it.In the realm of real life he isn't doing much better, because there's a ridiculously handsome guy with broad shoulders called Kim Seokjin that works in a nearby supermarket who is slowly ruining his life.Little does he know, they're actually the same person.

“Two can play at this game.” Alec had the pleasure of watching Magnus go from confused, to a slow smirk, and understanding coming to his eyes. “I might not be able to kick him out, but I can make him want to leave.” A.K.AThe story where Jace keeps interrupting Alec and Magnus's 'alone time,' and they're both super fed up.

Taehyung thought that moving to Seoul to start up a fansite for Jeon Jeongguk of BTS would be easy, and he didn't expect to have used up all his savings before he could even attend one fansign. It turns out that working nights at a strip club to earn the cash at the suggestion of his new roommate isn't as bad as he thought, but Taehyung definitely wasn't anticipating that Jeongguk would walk in the door of said club one night during his shift.

A game of Smash or Pass with Cherri Bomb makes Angel Dust realise that Husk isn’t seen by others as being super attractive.

“What are you doing?” Yuuri asks, side-eyeing him as he bends his arms behind his back, legs stretched into a perfect split. “Delivering justice onto this cruel and unusual world.” “Whoever trashed me on social media is not worth it, Vitya.” (Or: in which they're happily married, coaching Russia's and Japan's next great skaters, and Victor Nikiforov remains the clingiest, thirstiest man on the face of this planet.)

Tooru dates people and it takes Hajime a while to figure out why he hates it. Like six years.

Yuuri decides to go back to school. He'd really like to experience being normal again for a while, and he wants friends, not more fans. It's hard to keep two lives separate.

After the New York attack, Odin has taken Loki’s magic, made him mortal and imprisoned him. But Asgard is not a safe place for the Trickster under these conditions. Recent events make Odin decide to take away one more thing from his second son, his memory going back for the last four years. This decision and events that lead to it cause Frigga to decide that Asgard is not safe for Loki’s reduced station. From stories Thor had told, she decides that Tony Stark’s tower would make an excellent secure location for amnesiac Loki to be under house arrest. COMPLETE Sequel Anthony of Asgard Just a heads up, the final sequel, Stark InterGalactic is currently posting.Stark InterGalactic Link

“I’ve been reluctant to stoop to your level, but you leave me no choice. All previous experience tells me that no amount of push-ups or nighttime cross country running will improve your behavior.” Stiles smirks. “The perks of growing up with ADHD, I’m in fairly good shape.” Hale pinches the bridge of his nose, nostrils flaring. “Right. Stand up, Stilinski. Hands on the desk.” It doesn’t occur to Stiles what that particular order entails before he’s standing, half bent over the desk in order to reach with his hands. This position seems fairly suggestive.

Tony Stark is a brilliant man when he uses his brain, a hero when he wears his armor, and an unstoppable force when he wraps himself up to be a human burrito or 5+1 times Human burrito Tony Stark united alien gods, avengers, villains, and Shield

Jason gets arrested by Superman and Wonder Woman, while undercover as Red Hood in a criminal organization. Problem is that they don’t know he knows Batman and trying to get free only poses more problems. Especially when it’s Dick, not Bruce that comes to break him free.

What if Derek’s money doesn’t come from the insurance from the fire? What if it’s royalties from sales of an adult toy? One that’s no longer in production? What if Stiles had one and it was perfect and it broke?

When the enigma named Harry Potter stumbled into his world, Tom couldn't have been more unimpressed. That’s not about to stop Harry from adopting him and changing both of their lives. Harry's mission to stop a future Dark Lord’s murder spree and return to a better future and Tom’s pursuit to rule the world and achieve immortality inevitably clashes, and they’ll end up changing the world together. Hopefully, in Harry’s favor. ∞∞∞ Tom raised his head from his book as a distant feeling crept upon him. As if the air was crackling, pulsing with the chimes of a clock tower somewhere, signaling the start of—of something new, he didn't know. The thrum of energy surged in him, an urgency rising that moved him to leave his room, to peer out the age-tinted-yellow window at the end of the hall where he could see the front gates of the orphanage. A blurred shape of a man stumbled onto the threshold with the grace of a drunkard.

The Battle of New York is only hours past, but Steve Rogers’ battle to assimilate to his new world has just begun. Steve realizes his frosty existence since his awakening is every bit as debilitating as the Arctic ice he escaped. He sets upon a journey of self-discovery, even as the Avengers make rebuilding what the Chitauri destroyed a priority, encountering notions of friendship, home, family, and love he’d never considered. But Steve is not alone: Despite efforts to deny it, Tony Stark has to face the fact that his heart has awakened as well. Steve manages to rock Tony’s world in ways he’s never imagined possible. Awakenings details the romantic, heart-warming, and sexy story of Steve and Tony’s emerging relationship. Their transition from teammates to friends to lovers is bumpy yet charming, exasperating and exhilarating. Simultaneously, Phil and Clint’s love overcomes life-threatening obstacles, Thor finds new amusements in his adopted world, and Natasha and Bruce discover unexpected aspects of themselves. If you enjoy romance, drama, hurt/comfort, hot sex, emotional growth, humor, heroic friendships, camaraderie, and a sweet, new-fashioned wedding, then this might be the story for you.

So, fine, maybe Yuuri's a little bored and lonely when he likes a dating profile claiming to be Viktor Nikiforov. And, maybe, he's a little pathetic when he gets excited when the account messages him almost immediately after. And, he's definitely stupid for falling in love with someone pretending to be his idol, but he can't help it. It's not like it's the real Viktor Nikiforov, anyway. He knows someone is catfishing him, but he still falls ridiculously in love.

When Izuku and Katsuki were kids, they planned to become big music stars like their idol, All Might. With Katsuki on the drums, and Izuku singing, their dream was to have the best band in the world. But after a fight has devastating consequences, Izuku gives up on his own dream so Katsuki can shine. He stands by his side, and secretly (under the songwriter pseudonym Deku) pines for his best friend. That is until fate stumbles in. A tour gives Izuku the chance to have everything he's ever wished for, including true love. Will he take it, or will outside forces, the past, and his own secrets keep him silent again?

When Commander Shepard destroys the Reapers, she expects to die along with them. She does not expect to wake up in a strange, medieval world where people mistake her biotics for magic. Her plan is to find Liara, who accompanied her to the Crucible, and find her way home — providing she can outwit the grumpy Templar chasing her. Starting in Kirkwall just before the Mage rebellion and then skipping on through to Inquisition, get ready for two old soldiers struggling to redeem themselves and the slowest of burns.