幽默

So maybe everything didn't work out perfectly for Harry. Still, most of his friends survived, he'd gotten married, and was about to become a father. If only he'd have stayed away from the Veil, he wouldn't have had to go back and do everything AGAIN.

“W-What do you- I mean can I- are you here to rob us?” The person managed to stammer out. Siren snorted. “No. I’m just here to order some food.” “Wh-What about him?” The cashier asked, glancing at Tommy. “Did you- did you kidnap him?” “I mean… yeah, let’s go with that in case this ends up on the news,” Siren shrugged, looking back at Tommy. “I kidnapped you, right?” “Yeah, sure,” Tommy agreed, knowing that if they said he was kidnapped, it would keep people from getting suspicious of why he was seen in public with Siren. “Anyway, can I get the chicken nuggets happy meal, with a coke?” or, how Tommy—who is not a hero, or a villain, or even a vigilante—saves the life of one of L'Manberg's most feared supervillains, and accidentally ends up becoming the resident doctor for every supervillain in town (and maybe gets a family along the way too).

在一个海盗和水手之间无休止的战斗中占据海洋统治地位的世界中，朴智敏满足于生活在位于东部大陆一个平淡无奇的小岛上的小村庄里。他不想与善恶的流血、无情地杀害无辜者和被判刑者、不断建立和破坏秩序混为一谈。他想要的是和平，在他出生的同一个城镇里生活，在美丽的森林里度过美好的一天，并利用他的 Blessed Rune 的力量来培育他深爱的家园。 但是，当他的岛屿遭到海盗袭击时，Jimin别无选择，只能按照他们的命令去做，将所有和平的想法抛在脑后，转而登上由臭名昭著的东方黑狐敏永基担任船长的海盗船 “奥古斯特”。 注意：有关续集的信息可在结语作者的注释中找到。

'You're a wizard, Harry' is easier to hear from a half-giant when you're eleven, rather than from some kids on a tube platform when you're seventeen and late for work.

What kind of shenanigans and reactions will MHA characters have when they watch Death Battle? Answer: laughter, romantic drama, and real drama. Enough Talk! Its TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!

It always rains for Draco Malfoy. Metaphorically. And literally. Ever since he had accidentally Conjured a cloud. A cloud that's ever so cross.

“三个星期，” 德里克说。 斯蒂尔斯说：“还是不想。” “我会付钱给你，” 德里克说，这... 这让斯蒂尔斯很感兴趣。Alf's Antique's 可能是一份不错的工作，但这不是一份高薪工作，而且 Stiles 一半的学费来自经济援助，所以... “多少钱，” 斯泰尔斯问道，“我们在这里说话吗？因为我认识你的家人，伙计。之后会有点尴尬。” “我的家人认为你是送给世界的某种他妈的礼物，” 德里克像嫉妒似地说，“当我们分手时，他们可能会生我的气，所以不用担心。五百美元。” “一千，” 斯泰尔斯说，因为他搞砸了道德。而且，黑尔家族也满载而归。德里克可以应付。

When a Voldemort in his thirties encounters a time-travelling, seventeen-year-old Harry Potter, he makes a dangerous—and hilarious—assumption. He assumes that Harry is his son. And his son, of course, deserves the very best. A confused Harry plays along for the sake of self-preservation, but living with his “father” is proving to be intolerable in more ways than one. “You are mine,” Voldemort said gently, and smiled when Harry flinched. So the boy did know Voldemort, after all. He knew Voldemort was to be feared. “I will look after you, my own.” “I don’t belong to you,” Harry spat, despite his fear. Oh, what a delight he was! He was no cowering, simpering sycophant, like Voldemort’s other followers; no, this child had a spine of steel. Not many could stand before Voldemort without quailing. “You are my son,” Voldemort declared. “Of course you belong to me. Your every cell, your every fibre, your every heartbeat. You are mine in flesh and blood and soul. You are mine in magic. And you will not deny me.” Now with Chinese, Korean, Russian and Portugese translations, and featuring art by Mona and Hypnodisc!

Harry finds out that his dad is alive, has been the whole time. Instead of being overjoyed, Harry's disgusted. His dad left earth and abandoned his friends. Every painful thing he's ever gone through can be traced back to one man. Now Harry's got super strength he can't control and an almost unnecessary amount of magical power. His dad might be living it up with the Avengers now but not for long. With the help of his friends, Harry comes up with a plan for revenge. Get ready Avengers, Harry's out to punch a god.

赫敏说服德拉科为骑士团从事间谍活动，她成为了他的经理。但是他的真正动机是什么？很难说他自己什么时候还在弄清楚这个问题。 获胜者：Reddit 上的 2022 年热门剧情小说第 4 名 Wartime2nd Place BAMF！赫敏 ... 德拉科切断了她的联系。“你可能有我的魔杖，但你无法控制这里的信息流。这不是你的生命危在旦夕。” 格兰杰对他的断言大吃一惊。“我的生命每天都处于危险之中。” “所以。是。我的。”他向后咆哮。“把我他妈的魔杖交给我，联系我的时候别那么明显。” 她闭上了眼睛。“我已经告诉过你下次我会更加小心。” 她最好是。 “还有一件事。” “什么，马尔福？”她大声疾呼，仍然很生气自己没有得到想要的信息。 他用手指指着她，这样她就能明白这有多重要。“你需要学习封闭术。如果你被抓了，我就死定了。” 她反抗地回头凝视着。“我们俩都是。” 他无法对此争论。 她把他的魔杖扔到地板上然后用裂缝消失了。

(aka 'how to survive endless rebirth with your so-called soulmate') Harry and Tom’s souls are tied together. Which is why they’re in this endless loop of rebirth. At some point, they stopped caring and just started fucking with people. (cracky humor with a hint of seriousness and plot, my specialty)

There he was: sitting splay-legged on the altar, one muddy combat boot propped up on the edge, with a self-satisfied grin on his face and a relaxed aura, in spite of the war raging outside. Izuku wasn’t sure what he’d expected to see his first day evacuating humans from the Rapture zone, but it sure as hell wasn’t a Demon with the same goal. A story about falling, in more ways than one. Podfic

Midoriya’s quirk isn’t what anyone is expecting. That's not to say it’s bad, quite the opposite, it’s just that things are put in a different perspective when you regularly die. Midoriya still dreams of becoming a hero, and when he does- well no one was expecting this. Aizawa needs a vacation. All Might doesn’t know how to handle his suicidal successor.Bakugou is the only student that isn’t absolutely terrified of this cheerful yet surprisingly deadly hero in training. And Midoriya? Well, he’s a little bitch with no regard for personal safety, and someone decided to give him an enhanced strength quirk on top of it. AKA Midoriya has an immortality quirk and no one knows how to handle it, including Midoriya himself. Might as well fake it till he makes it. What’s the worst that can happen?

Ed had thought, after the whole Promised Day, homunculus, entire country harvested for alchemical batteries thing, the batshit quotient of his life would have settled down some. He really ought to have topped out the meter with that one. But no. The bullshit is just getting started. “Are you fucking kidding me,” Ed demands. “The wizards?” Podfic & Chinese translation available! See notes

Naruto’s friends are gone, his lover is dying, Konoha is destroyed, and Madara’s second return has pushed the entire world to the brink. Hunted and harried, Naruto is sent back in time to upend Madara’s plan before it even starts, and sets about changing everything. Butterfly effect nothing: the world is at stake, and Naruto is hardly about to let it fall to ruin once more. Not while he’s still breathing.

The mission resets abruptly, from objective: kill to objective: protect

在一个星系中，这部小说从未被读过。另一方面，它开始了山体滑坡。 或者当曼达洛人得知绝地武士正是他们大多数人在伴侣中寻找的东西时会发生什么。

What happens when a suspicious letter was sent to all the clans, inviting them to an appointed location to learn about the truth of thirteen years ago and now? Will the Yiling Patriarch finally get the justice he seeks? Will Hanguang-Jun lose some of his regret? Will Jiang Cheng find the peace he desperately needs? And will the other Sect Leaders finally realize what a piece of shit they are get the faceslapping they deserve? But most importantly, will Wei Wuxian allow a drunk Lan Zhan to be viewed by the public? Find out in the epic series of the characters watching the Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation!Spanish Translation,Korean Translation

Draco has woken up in an alternate universe. Or he has woken up utterly insane. Nothing else can possibly explain why Harry Potter suddenly seems to think he's Draco's boyfriend.

It's said that every soul is connected to another by a red thread, and that these two souls are destined to meet. The thread, though it may tangle or stretch, will never break. That's not your experience, lucky or unlucky enough as you are to see the strings that bind people together. A red thread is developed and grown, not born, and you've worked hard to weed out any semblance of crimson that might cling to you. You pay your bills, you keep your head down, and you find whatever lost people or items you're hired to sniff out. Then the Devil of Hell's Kitchen tags along on a job, and your plan falls apart. Starts prior to Into the Ring, and loosely follows the canon timeline. There is eventually smut, so enter at your peril. Reader is never physically described but uses a false name and may be treated as an OC.

Eleven years after the war, Draco Malfoy leads a quiet, boring, and perfectly respectable life, thanks very much. Or, at least he does, until a sudden and very unexpected veela awakening causes him to throw soup all over Harry Potter in the middle of the Ministry cafeteria.

Iroh insists they create a new life and identity in Ba Sing Se. Zuko wants nothing more than to bide his time until his next opportunity to return home, until he realizes ‘Lee’ can get away with things Zuko never could.Zuko dons the mantle of the Blue Spirit again only to lose his focus when the Avatar comes to the city. This time, however, his attention is drawn to the annoying Southern Tribe warrior.

John is Sherlock's internet boyfriend - from CANADA. No one thinks he's real.

They sought her out for conversation sometimes, cornering her in the garden or at the park, not that they ever had much to say. Really, Harriet thought snakes were rather dull. --------- Harriet Potter has always been odd. Between having a shadow that moves on its own and chatting with grass snakes, learning she's a witch really isn't the strangest thing to happen to the bespectacled girl with a lightning scar on her neck. Harriet attends Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, where she makes new friends, encounters a prickly Potions Master, learns about the Boy Who Lived, and meets the enigmatic Defense Against the Dark Arts instructor, Professor Tom Slytherin.

Flashes of an unknown past haunt Naruto, entwining his steps with those of a former life no longer content to stay forgotten. There's a voice on the wind and another lifetime in his head, and it’s time for Uzushio’s Storm God to rise once more. (The soul of a city is a hard thing to kill. Uzushio is still aware, still waiting. And now, with the rebirth of her greatest Kage, it’s time to call her people home.)

Marinette could go on about why she hated Adrien Agreste—from his unfunny pranks to his ineffable attractiveness—ever since he had the audacity that day with the umbrella. And yet, here she was fake-dating him while in love with a superhero. (The adrienette enemy x fake-dating au, with fanart)

Once upon a time, Harry Potter hid for two hours from Dudley in a chemistry classroom, while a nice graduate student explained about the scientific method and interesting facts about acids. A pebble thrown into the water causes ripples. Contains, in no particular order: magic candymaking, Harry falling in love with a house, evil kitten Draco Malfoy, and Hermione attempting to apply logic to the wizarding world.

“Okay, what we know so far.” Hermione listed, "One, our magic is drawing us together. Two, we can use each other’s wands. Three, there were actual sparks when you touched me." After an infant binding ritual magically joins Hermione and Draco to counteract the Black family blood curse, they must navigate the secret binding through their years together at Hogwarts.

For reasons he'd rather not think about, Draco is obsessed with Potter's hair. This cannot end well.

During their mission to Wave, Sakura realises how behind she is in her training and decides to do something about it. She vows to become a shinobi her Village and her teammates can respect and depend on. But Sakura has always been a paper-ninja, so her first stop for inspiration is the library where she finds unexpected help in the form of one very bored tokujo who quickly goes on to become an integral part of her life. Soon, despite the neglect of her sensei and all odds seemingly against her, Sakura's destiny begins to change.

“Uhh, Mr. Stark?” Peter said.“What is it, Spiderman? You okay?”“I’m fine but…I think we might have a ghost fighting on our side.”“Impossible.” Thor interrupted. “Ghosts hate the living.”“Yeah well one just saved my life and made a joke about New York’s rat problems.”Silence over the radio. Or, New York City isn't prepared for a ghostly invasion. The Avengers are finally all in the same place again. Thor and Bruce are back from space with a semi-reformed chaos god and a thousand refugees in tow. Steve and the Rogues have got their pardons and are ready to start being heroes again. But Tony isn't ready trust, neither is his new protegee Spiderman. The fractured team can't seem to come together. It's a good thing then that Danny Phantom is ready to save the day. That doesn't mean anyone is prepared for when he keeps showing up. NOW COMPLETE!

Harry is paired up with every girl in the Potter universe. All girls chosen are what I deem smart or brainy. That means no Ginny or Molly chaps in this. There are many more girls in this then what I've listed above, it's too many to put on there. This series will have chaps that range from G to NC-17 really. All chaps that are NC-17 will have a warning before the chap begins also along with any other warning if any.

Harry returns to Hogwarts for his 8th year, determined not to let Malfoy get to him. But when the snarky teasing starts up again, Harry finds that returning the jibes with compliments has a far more interesting outcome.

Stiles learns that even with werewolves, giant lizards and psychopathic hunters on the loose, life can still find other ways to screw with you. Case in point: everyone keeps assuming he and Derek are a couple. What the hell?

Dialing a wrong number was no unusual occurrence. Everyone did it once in a while, and Katsuki was well aware of that fact. However, possessing this knowledge made it no less aggravating for him to discover — a full two minutes into his rant about his day — that he’d been venting his frustrations to a complete stranger. As if that wasn't enough, said stranger was also inexplicably determined to hear his story to its end.